“AND” – a reflection and poem
photograph by Cherie Westmoreland
by Trudy Grienauer
In January, Lois Huey-Heck gathered a small community of women connected to Naramata and Jubilee around a metaphorical hearth on Zoom. It seemed an appropriate time to talk about darkness, resilience and human connection. Lois had prepared thought-provoking readings, calming meditations, inspiring poems and songs. With her gentle guidance, we reflected on grief and courage, despair and wonder, anxiety and celebration. In our sharing, we witnessed dark, sinking feelings just as much as light, buoyant feelings. There were heavy hearts and uplifted hearts.
Throughout the journey of three winter nights, in a fleeting but trusting community, we saw both the dark and the light. We held space for all the opposites; we witnessed the world in all its complexity.
I’ve come to appreciate that little word “and”. It seems to be the crack in a wall where the light comes in. Or the fissure in a rock where seeds can sprout. When I only see the dark and the heavy, “and” reminds me that’s not the whole of reality. Upholding joy, hope, tenderness, connection in the face of doom and gloom can feel almost subversive. I’d say, it’s an act of resistance. I want to take root in the crack of “and”.
a joy grows dandelion-like in cracks
between the worries in my burdened heart
although at night I’ve tossed and turned for hours
a song spills out in praise of rosy dawn
again, again there’s beauty and there’s pain
despair sits next to wonder, grief meets joy
the only way to hold them both is “and”
a word as gentle as my palm on palm
Trudy Grienauer
is a spiritual companion trained in the Pacific Jubilee SoulGuiding program. She has been a student of Zen Buddhism since 2005 and currently practices with Vancouver’s Mountain Rain Zen Community as a distance student. Trudy explores her creativity as a poet, photographer, cook, and choir singer. She draws inspiration from hiking and gardening.
Read about Trudy's spiritual accompaniment practice here.
