More Questions than Answers
photograph by Kat Goheen
by Kat Goheen
What an amazing feeling to wake up that first morning in Santiago and not need to lace up my boots for a 20–25 kilometre hike. I had a locker too, so I felt free to leave my poles and pack and go down the steps of the Semenario into town. There, I found cafe con leche and met up with friends I had made over the previous four weeks. At sunset, I sat down on the steps of the Semanario to reflect on my pilgrimage. I opened the new journal I had bought when I received my Compostela (pilgrim certificate of completion) and began to write.
My first entry was my Pilgrim Rule of Life, which ended up being 26 aphorisms I gleaned from my experience along the road. Even though each one was specific to my Camino, they have all held truth for my regular life — each one continues to have real world resonance. The first and last entries are particularly pertinent and I've added reflections on what they mean to me today.
First: Take good care of your feet. Feet are a humble part of my body and I don't give them much thought in my daily life. On Camino, they were my only form of transportation for four weeks, from St. Jean Pied a Porte in southern France to Santiago in western Spain. They were my foundation. I put ointment on them each morning and massaged them last thing before bed. They rewarded my attention by carrying me faithfully. In my daily life I see that when I attend to my foundations (schedule, spiritual practice, nutrition), I am able to avoid some unnecessary suffering and carry on.
Last: Best not to complain about your pack. My shoulders and back would get so achy, and after my knee twinged hard in Pamplona, I cared for it with a daily brace. However, I am the only one responsible for my backpack. I decided before I came to France that I could manage an extra 16 pounds across the 780 kilometre trek, so I had no one else to blame but myself for that! It's best not to complain about my pack because it is mine and I packed it. Camino also revealed to me that everyone has a pack, or a burden, that they carry. It's just easier to see it on Camino. The amount of "stuff" I carry can help or hinder me and it definitely reveals my level of basic trust in the world. Best not to complain about it, and perhaps I can let some stuff go too.
There are more questions than answers arising from my Camino experience. Before I went, I figured that if I stayed open, observant, and isolated enough, I would be able to work through my existence completely. Now I see that having denser, clearer questions is even better than tying everything up in a bow. As I remember and honour the difficult questions that have arisen, I walk myself home.
Kat Goheen
seeks to express and encourage divine connection in the spoken and written word, music, and art. She completed the SoulGuiding and SoulMentoring spiritual director programs through the Pacific Jubilee Program. She is also a minister in Community of Christ and teaches a full violin and viola studio at the Langley Community Music School. She writes songs for her Celtic band and for playing on her harp at labyrinths.
Kat has degrees in music performance from Graceland University and two graduate degrees in biblical studies from the Vancouver School of Theology, having traveled the path from a professional singer, to academic, to mother, to mystic; always circling back, always coming home.
Read about Kat's spiritual accompaniment practice here.
